Ideas change everything

Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved

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Esther Perel |

TED2015

• March 2015

Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. But does it have to be? Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic: because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees something unexpected — an expression of longing and loss. A must-watch for anyone who has ever cheated or been cheated on, or who simply wants a new framework for understanding relationships.

Want to use TED Talks in your organization?

Want to use TED Talks in your organization?

Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. But does it have to be? Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic: because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees something unexpected — an expression of longing and loss. A must-watch for anyone who has ever cheated or been cheated on, or who simply wants a new framework for understanding relationships.

Want to use TED Talks in your organization?

This talk was presented at an official TED conference.

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About the speaker

Therapist, speaker, consultant

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Through her podcasts "Where Should We Begin?" and "How's Work?," psychotherapist Esther Perel is changing the conversation on the way we communicate, connect and conflict in our relationships -- at home and at work.

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Commentary: Has technology changed love?

Esther Perel joins Helen Fisher to discuss how technology has affected the way we form and end relationships.

This talk was presented at an official TED conference.

Read our curation guidelines.