Ideas change everything

Our story of rape and reconciliation

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Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger |

TEDWomen 2016

• October 2016

In 1996, Thordis Elva shared a teenage romance with Tom Stranger, an exchange student from Australia. After a school dance, Tom raped Thordis, after which they parted ways for many years. In this extraordinary talk, Elva and Stranger move through a years-long chronology of shame and silence, and invite us to discuss the omnipresent global issue of sexual violence in a new, honest way. For a Q&A with the speakers, visit go.ted.com/thordisandtom.

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In 1996, Thordis Elva shared a teenage romance with Tom Stranger, an exchange student from Australia. After a school dance, Tom raped Thordis, after which they parted ways for many years. In this extraordinary talk, Elva and Stranger move through a years-long chronology of shame and silence, and invite us to discuss the omnipresent global issue of sexual violence in a new, honest way. For a Q&A with the speakers, visit go.ted.com/thordisandtom.

Want to use TED Talks in your organization?

This talk was presented at an official TED conference.

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About the speakers

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Thordis Elva is one of the two authors of "South of Forgiveness," a unique collaboration between a survivor and perpetrator of rape.

Co-author, landscape gardener

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Tom Stranger is the co-author of "South of Forgiveness."

Learn more

South of Forgiveness

Thordis Elva, Tom Stranger | Scribe (2017)

Thordis Elva, Tom Stranger - *South of Forgiveness*

Rape & Domestic Violence Services Australia

Rape & Domestic Violence Services Australia provides 24/7 telephone and online crisis counseling for anyone in Australia who has experienced or is at risk of sexual assault, family or domestic violence.

Women's Shelter Reykjavík

A shelter for women and their children, when living at home is intolerable due to mental or physical abuse by a husband, partner or other family member.

This talk was presented at an official TED conference.

Read our curation guidelines.

Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger: Our story of rape and reconciliation | TED Talk